Overview of my life. Short version

My Story
 I've been a quiet shy type of kind since primary school and didn't thought of any thing. It was just about trying to enjoy life and stuff. I was the quiet yet rebellious type of kid, never did homework since primary 1. Got caned, got scolded and stuff. That was ok. I couldn't make friends. Each best friend I had left me within 1 to 2 year for no reasons. They just dunno me. Then I had my first crush at bout sec 1. Every time on the way to sch I'll see this emo cute boy who was probably 2 year older than me. Never knew his name. Influenced me that it is ok to be emo and alone. At sec 2, got backstabbed by my two best friends and shit. Became suicidal. Didn't care bout the future. Didn't care bout weight and stuff. Went from 60+ to 80+ from then to now. 3~4 years. I didn't want to live. Hated myself for being gay. Hyperventilated shit, studies went haywire too... As a guy from shooting club, I even plotted to march up to the range to take the pistol to kill that science teacher that picked on me damn hard. Developed depression. I became fatter. Hated myself even more. Became super low esteem(not that I've actually been of a person of normal confidence.) Sec 3 I met this guy who we clicked instantly and became super good friends. Told him I was gay at sec 4 and he said it's ok as I didn't fall for him. Then I did... Then I got crushed as I forced myself to distance away from him totally. Became depressed once again. Horrible period. During then, also started to put on weight once more. Then graduated from secondary. Went to poly, chose the wrong course(drawing course), couldn't cope, no friends. Creativity died from depression. Opted out when I seek mental help. Was super suicidal. I should have died back... Lucky I knew I couldn't give up. My self image as a fat gay dude made it worse. But I survived. As I get treatment and medication, saw the world in a brighter light, I finally got the courage to live. To cherish live and no longer talk about killing myself. It's finally about goals. And now, I'm very resolved in losing weight. I believe if you get out of your misery cycle, anything can happen  I know I have a potential cute face so I'm gonna train and lose weight to maximise my own physical potential! Kudos to all the chubby people! Be happy and from then you'll be able to set yourself free from the imposed self-image depreciation!