Sigh, as I got nagged on by my parents, I discovered the real truth. That I'm the coward and I'm the reason for all my troubles. It's the amount of pride I put in myself. It's the amount of self confidence. The lack of courage to step out of my boundaries. And the foolish side of me that constantly never found the will to press on. I question myself, why do people keep trying despite failing. I guess, one day, I will find it out. As my dad shared the life story of people he know, my neighbors... He told me about an uncle living downstairs, who used to fair pretty well economically till his eldest son got cancer at the age of ten plus. He had to press so hard to fund his child's chemotherapy. Right after the recovery from cancer, his son got knocked down by a car and was killed... And he lost his job too. Ending up working as a primary school canteen vendor. But he still presses on for his kid. I am and should have always been thankful for being here. Being safe, being raised in a loving family, having a smooth education as a kid, having to eat every meal peacefully, not live in fear, able to go online to surf the internet, able to listen to songs whenever I want, getting to know songs that guided to through harsh parts of my life, able to sit down on a couch, hug my soft lovable pillow, have fans that bring relief to the heat, blanket that protect me and let me cuddle up, soft toys that acted as my support, friends who advised, cared, joked, scolded and supported me when I needed them.
Thanks Wanling for being there to listen to me rant through all my rubbish and bullshit theories on life. For being irritating and funny. For being so bulliable! For organising so many family meeting. Lastly, for being there when I was extremely depressed and constantly keeping check on me. You are the support pillar in my life! :D Thanks Jaslin, for being so fun, for being so proactive in our otherwise passive friendship by calling me constantly to share and update each other! Also, for bringing me to Pink Dot to open my eyes. For asking me out to outings. You are the definition of girly and fun! Thanks Wang Ru for being part of my early secondary life which was, in my eyes, horrible and dark. For being the trendstarter, J-pop, J-rock, Animes!!!!!!! And for taking time and having so much enthusiasm every time we meet up! You're the rocker/rocket! Thanks darren for being there so many times! Though you are such a rock and stoner but you're brotherly presence can be felt so easily and it's a comfort to know that if I ever get into trouble, there is someone who would likely physically stand up to help me. You're the elder brother! Hilde Orens! Hey, new friend! You are so awesome that you deserve to be part of this thanks giving post! Well, it was from your post that taught me about the thanksgiving tradition anyway haha. Anyway, thanks for being such a fun, friendly eye opener. I was extremely intrigued by how you are so friendly to someone whom you have never met before and you are a good reason for having faith in humanity and being humane. You are the total role model! Thanks ZY for being an asshole last time, being the geeky dude that bullshitted me so much information that was actually interesting and captivating! For bring fun into my upper sec life, for being someone that managed to withstand against Ms Yeo so long! LOL! Nah, i kid! It's really a joy knowing you haha. The fact that you are so knowledgeable and funny at the same time. And perverted.... =.= I am too rofl... You are the the know it all geek that actually is cool(in a way :P) Anyway, yea, from our conversation, I am also grateful for the ability to feel for myself. To express my thoughts and feelings properly. Also for the ability to have emotions as well as control them. Damn... Who else did I not thanked yet. OH YA! Thanks MY! For playing dota with me all day long and having no life together! For trolling SG pubs so badly that we can't actually have a proper game most of the time, for being the troller and lastly for being so extremely easy to troll(Gives me extreme joy when I troll you!) You are the Gamer!
OH OH OH OH! Thanks Frank McDonald for being funny haha! U're such an awesome guy and I am so glad to have met u even if it's online :D You're the funny dude being the web! :P
Well, obviously I have many other people to thank and my parents too but since they won't be seeing this, I won't continue to spam this.
LASTLY, THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE NOTE! I feel that it's time I actually thank people for being part of my life, to be grateful for the life that was given to me.
Jaslin Purification, Lim Wan Ling, Mabel Wang, Darren Teng Zhi Hin, Kwek Meng Yang, Hilde Orens, Zy Zhienyan Wong, Frank McDonald.
PS for this long note. I believe this post is enuf for thanksgiving, this year and next year LOL! Goodnite ppl :D
